Some common phrases get outdated or otherwise just lose their oomph over time. "A penny saved is a penny earned," right? Well, a penny saved will also buy you absolutely nothing nowadays! A food-related phrase I take issue with is "the best thing since sliced bread."

Apparently, the origins of this saying date back to the 1920's, and we have a full-page ad in the Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune out of the namesake town in Missouri to thank for it. Within the promo, it was written that the sliced bread loaf is “the greatest forward step in the baking industry since bread was wrapped.” Whether or not you consider it amusing hyperbole, the phrase was apparently bold and noticeable enough to warrant international proliferation, and has been part of our cultural lexicon ever since.

The thing is...sliced bread isn't THAT great, is it? I mean, I enjoy a good slice of ciabatta or rye every now and again, but if we're talking white bread, we're talking a food that is overprocessed and lacking in nutritional value.


Demon bread, back! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! I suggest we update this phrase with a, dare I say, hipper, sexier food metaphor. How about "the greatest thing since bubble tea"? Or "the greatest thing since hibachi"? Something that gets us away from our, pardon the pun, "white bread" notions of food. Foodies, we can branch out! We can do better!

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Money is tight these days, but if you respect your food and your self, you'll drop that pre-packaged poor American excuse for Parmesan cheese and spring for something more respectable.

Cheese always is under the risk that it may be expensive. I guess that owes to the cost of the production. What do I know? I ain't no dairy farmer, y'hear? In any event, I really feel like it is like night and day between using the cheap stuff and a nice fresh hunk o' cheese.

But what cheese to grate and use? Well, I'm a little biased, but as I see it, it's hard to go wrong with a hard Italian cheese. Parmigiano-Reggiano is renowned for its ability to be grated and for its taste. I've even heard of it referred to by Mario Batali as "the undisputed king of cheeses." Then again, what does he know? He went to school at Rutgers.

Oh, wait, so did I.

My personal favorite, though, is Pecorino Romano. This white, sheep's milk-based cheese is great for grating and marvelous when melted. Bellissimo!

Both Parmigiano-Reggiano and Pecorino Romano are a little sharp compared to your garden variety Parmesan, but are really significantly better, I feel. For best results, get your cheese by the block, piece, what-have-you and grate it or cut fresh. You can thank me later.

Do you use high-quality cheese for grating?

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Strolling down the streets of Teaneck, NJ, I happened upon a little cupcake shop tucked away on a side street off Cedar Lane, a prominent thoroughfare. It looked like your standard bake shop, until I read the blurb at the bottom of their in-store pamphlet: "100% of Zoe's Cupcake Cafe net proceeds support Zoe's Place, Inc., a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide safe, supervised housing, and support services for Bergen County, NJ pregnant teens, teen moms, and their babies.  In addition to funding, the Cafe will offer training and employment opportunities to the young girls of Zoe's Place."


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Normally, I feel guilty about eating cupcakes covered with frosting, but the cause made my decision a lot easier. It also didn't hurt that their cupcakes are delicious.

Do you know of any other food establishments dedicated to worthy, charitable causes?

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We're all familiar with the "Desert Island" game. If you were on a desert island, what would you take with you? If you're a smart aleck about it, a boat to get off the island. Har har. But more specifically, what person would you take? What book would you take? You know, if you had to choose one.

I propose we ask the Xanga and IRLF population the same thing regarding snacks. When I first came up with the idea, of course, I had to ask myself that very question. Quickly, the competition became a two-horse race of epic and salty proportions.


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On one hand, we have Rold Gold Honey Braided Twists. So good. I have to set limits on myself when I eat these things. Like, I have to take a few pretzels out of the bag, then put the bag into a locked box inside a locked safe...and then bury the whole thing in the ground six feet deep, because I will eat the whole thing. It's like crack to me.


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On the other hand, we have Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Goldfish Crackers. Their slogan should be "Bet You Can't Eat Just One," as in "one bag". I like to take these things by the handful and assault my mouth with cheesy goodness.

Which one to choose? On taste alone, I'm afraid I cannot do so. So, in a somewhat arbitrary ruling, I find for the Goldfish crackers, on the basis that the ones with the faces on them can be my friends after I go crazy living on a desert island. See? I'm always thinking ahead!

If you could only have one snack in an infinite amount on a desert island, which would you choose?

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A while back, I wrote a piece about how Sonic's arrival in a town near to me created a crazy traffic situation and made people park in a nearby animal shelter and walk over. Well, apparently, the allure of Sonic's drive-in goodness is so strong people will risk killing a police officer over it.

The full story is here. A pertinent excerpt from the article:

"One customer, P.J. Montevirgen, 29, of Hackensack said he had to circle up and down the highway to try and get a spot, and saw an Acura SUV trying to get a spot and a police officer telling the driver the lot was full. The Acura driver suddenly floored his vehicle in front of the officer, jerked to the left, and disappeared behind some car. Moments later, Montevirgen said, he heard a crash."

While I don't have the Community News story to verify it, I seem to recall that the cop was dragged for some time by the Acura, and that he is currently in critical condition.

OK, I get it, Sonic is awesome. Their drinks are delicious. Still, things like this shouldn't happen. A drive-in food chain should not be the grounds for possible vehicular manslaughter. I don't know about you, but I find this whole situation very troubling.

Have you ever heard of a traffic incident such as this involving a fast food restaurant or other dining establishment?